


can't fight this feeling anymore

by Samyx914



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complete, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oneshot, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 08:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14564952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samyx914/pseuds/Samyx914
Summary: When Keith left to join the Blade of Marmora, Lance's feelings for the other boy came bubbling to the surface. He's in love with him and he needs him around. The past two months have been some of the worst of his life. He worries himself sick wondering whether Keith is alright.But today, the BOM is coming to the Castle to help plan another attack on Zarkon's forces. And Lance is going to convince Keith to return to him, er, Team Voltron, even if he has to beg.





	can't fight this feeling anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! New fic! :)
> 
> This fic was supposed to be for a drabble game on Tumblr. An anon sent me this prompt:  
> Setting: Seeing each other for the first time in a while  
> Dialogue: “I promise I’ll always be there for you. No matter what. You’re not alone anymore.”
> 
> But then it morphed into a 3k word monster, so I decided to put it here!  
> Enjoy! <3

Lance wakes up from the dream he’d been having, something about home. He can still feel the sand under his feet and the breeze on his face. He lies there for a moment, relishing in it. But then he has to get up. He doesn’t like spending too much time alone in his room, it makes him even more homesick. And the fact that the Blade of Marmora are coming today to discuss their plans, that just makes him jittery.

He’d been anxious since yesterday evening, when Coran told them after training that the BOM would be arriving soon. His brain would only produce one thought: _Keith will be with them_.

Keith, the boy Lance had unwittingly fallen in love with. Who he hasn’t seen in over two months. Who he’s desperate to see again. Honestly, Lance doesn’t know when the feelings crept in on him. But, when Keith announced that he was leaving, to go do something ‘useful,’ Lance’s chest ached. He put on a happy face and wished him well, but it killed him to watch Keith leave. He couldn’t tell him right then and there, with the whole crew around. But, if he can catch Keith alone, he’s going to tell him.

That the BOM is bullshit. A reckless, stupid group of tall purple assholes who don’t care about him. Well, he won’t go that far. But, that he belongs in the castle with a warm bed. With the team _. With Lance._ And once again, he won’t go that far. He’s too afraid of rejection. He doesn’t need Keith to spontaneously fall in love with him, he just needs his company. That’s enough.

Lance is pulling on his armor, not that he needs it. Except maybe to protect his heart. But hell, it doesn’t work like that. And he’s practicing his little speech again. His reasons that Keith should return to the Castle of Lions for good. He gives himself a look over in the mirror. His eyes have faint circles under them and his hair looks a little too much like bedhead. He runs his fingers through it and decides he looks fine. Then he exits his room.

\--

He’s the first one to the meeting room, surprisingly. He looks around before taking a seat, drumming his fingers on the table top. One by one, the other paladins trickle in, each one shocked that Lance beat them to the room. He ignores their jokes about how he usually sleeps late and misses half the meeting.

And then, the Blade members file in, Coran leading them. They all have their masks on still, but Lance can pick out the one he needs to talk to. The smallest Blade, standing near the back with his arms crossed. Then he realizes that they aren’t crossed. Keith has a sling around one arm and his free hand grips his shoulder. His panic alarm goes off and it takes everything in his being to stop himself from rushing to the other to check on him.

\--

He survives the meeting. Switching between paying attention to Shiro and staring at Keith, who had let his mask down. Now everyone’s chatting over one another, just sort of catching up on past missions. Now’s his chance.

Lance stands from his chair and crosses the floor towards Keith, who has a pained expression. “Hey buddy,” Lance starts.

“Hey,” Keith smiles. It’s wobbly though.

“Are you okay?” Lance asks, eyeing his arm. “What happened?”

Keith’s eyes flash to the other Blade members, across the room. “I think my shoulder got knocked out of place.” Lance’s eyes widen and he winces.

“Ouch.” he says, grimacing at the thought. It had happened to him once as a child. In a pool of all places. He’d cried for days. “How’d it happen?”

“I don’t know.” Keith sighs. “I wasn’t paying attention. And someone grabbed my arm and yanked me around. Then, they threw me at a wall.”

_It’s because I didn’t have your back,_ Lance’s brain butts in. He shakes the thought away. “Why didn’t you jump in a pod and get all fixed up?”

“We don’t, uh, really have cryopods.” Keith admits.

“Oh… Well, we do! Come on, I’ll throw you in a pod for a little bit.” Lance offers.

Keith snorts, “yeah, you’d lock me in or something.”

“No. I promise.” Lance says. Keith doesn’t change his mind. “Please?” Lance pleads. Keith’s eyes soften and he nods.

“Okay.”

\--

Lance leads him to the med bay, and they make small talk on the way. Talking about the food on the BOM ships, which sounds neither better nor worse than the food goo at the Castle. The weather on planet’s they’ve been to. Anything trivial, that doesn’t involve serious feelings and emotions. And once they reach the pods, Keith steps behind a curtain to strip from his BOM gear and change into a pod suit.

Then, he steps into the pod. He situates himself, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath in, then out. Lance smiles, at least Keith hasn’t forgotten how to get into a cryopod, and then he presses a couple buttons. The pod closes with a mechanical ‘fsshh,’ and Keith’s vitals flash on the screen. Lance can’t read Altean, but the red symbols seem to speak for themselves. Keith’s not in great shape.

Lance decides that when the pod opens, in approximately half an hour, he’ll still be there. And he’ll tell Keith then.

\--

He had been calm and collected the entire time, watching the timer tick down and looking at Keith, who is probably getting more rest in thirty minutes than he has in the past couple months. _That’s another reason he should come back._ Lance runs over his argument again. He’d practiced it in his mirror dozens of times. Lance sighs and starts drumming his fingers against the armor on his forearm.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Tap.

Lance is snapped back to reality when pod hisses open and Keith starts to fall out. Lance rushes to him and catches him.

“Oh, crap.” Keith groans. “Thanks.”

“No problem. You got it?” Lance asks, holding the other up.

“Yep,” Keith says. Lance releases him.

“How’s the arm?”

“A thousand times better.” Keith says, rolling his shoulder.

“I’m glad.” Lance replies.

“Thank you. Uh, Lance?” Keith asks. His breath catches in his throat, he savors the sound of his name.

“Yeah?”

“Can you sit with me for a minute?” Keith asks. His voice is soft and unsure.

“Yeah,” Lance answers. He slides down the wall until he’s sitting and Keith joins him on his right side. Keith leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes.

“Going to sleep?” Lance asks with a smile.

“I wish.” Keith sighs. “How’ve you all been? Is anything new?” He looks at Lance expectantly.

“I, we’re all good I guess.” Lance says.

“Been on any good missions lately?” Keith asks with a small smile. No mission is a good mission, Keith knows that.

But regardless, Lance tells him about his last assignment. A reconnaissance mission on Planet Frehal, where everything was far too dark. Neither of the planet’s two suns were out and the only light sources was the orange glowing of streetlamps. Even the people seemed to be gloomy. Lance had spent almost two days there, finding out what he could about the positions of galra squadrons.

He’d been so thankful to return to the castle ship. Sleeping in a lion’s head on a strange planet alone… well it didn’t sit well with him. Especially with how Shiro’s been acting recently. Like a galra general or something. Snapping and constantly putting the team down. Lance misses when Keith was their leader, he took a while to figure it out, but at least he wasn’t a jerk.

_So, tell him that,_ Lance thinks to himself, watching Keith stretch his arms over his head.

“Sounds like a rough time,” Keith says.

“Not as rough as you’re having,” Lance slips.

“What do you mean?” Keith asks defensively. Lance shakes his head.

“Nothing.” Lance says, shaking his head. He’s not ready for this.

“Well, I guess I’d better get changed.” Keith says, rising to his feet. He extends a hand to Lance and pulls him up. Then he disappears behind the screen. It’s now or never. Plus, it’s not as scary since he can’t see Keith’s face.

“Hey, Keith.” Lance starts, twiddling his thumbs to try and calm his nerves. “Maybe you shouldn’t go.”

“I’ve got to,” Keith says, tossing the pod suit over the room divider. “I don’t know how long Kolivan’s planning to stay. I don’t want to get left behind.”

“That’s what I’m saying. You don’t have to go back with the Blade. You could stay here.” Lance says softly. Behind the screen falls silence. No rustling of clothing or anything, just breathing.

“What do mean I should stay here?” Keith finally asks.

“Well, I mean, we all miss you. And your bedroom’s still empty.” Lance offers with a laugh.

“Don’t you remember the reason I left? I’m doing anything here. I’m just an extra person on the ship. And I can’t do anything without Red! The Blade needs me! I actually matter over there. We go on missions and I’m part of a team! If I came back here, I’d be useless!” Keith says, voice rising from its normal volume to full on shouting.

“I’d rather you feel useless than be dead, Keith!” Lance shouts back. Keith’s eyes widen and Lance continues.

“They don’t care about you. You’re barely a part of their team. If you end up dead, that’s just part of the motto! And I know you think you have to somehow make up for being half-galra by letting the BOM treat you like crap, but it’s bullshit! You deserve to be worried about, Keith. And we actually care whether or not you wake up tomorrow. We love you.” Lance is visibly shaking with nerves by the time he rests his case.

He’d forgotten most of his prepared argument, but it leaves Keith speechless. He opens his mouth a couple times, but nothing comes out. Then about the time Lance thinks he’s come up with something to say, he pushes past Lance and hurriedly exits the room, leaving him in the med bay alone.

\--

The Blade of Marmora is set to leave any minute. The rest of the team is probably saying their goodbyes right now. But Lance isn’t among them.

Instead, he’s holed up in his room, imagining a different endings to his conversation with Keith. One where he confesses. One where Keith stays. One where he at least says goodbye. But the other had stormed off and now all of those possibilities are gone.

Lance doesn’t want their last exchange to have been a fight. But he doesn’t know what else to do. He’d tried. And failed. He tried to give Keith a reason to stay and ended up making an ass of himself.

He sighs and rolls over onto his side. He’ll just have to get over it.

But over Keith? God, that’s a different story. He’s been trying since the feeling appeared. And knowing that Keith is leaving again. And that this time, he’s angry with Lance, hurts all the worse. He’s on the verge on tears, but they won’t fall. Maybe later on, when it hits him that Keith is gone.

\--

He ends up falling asleep and only wakes when there’s a knock at the door. He blinks and realizes where he is, then checks the time on the clocking setting on his nightstand. It’s time for dinner. Hunk must’ve come to wake up so he can eat.

“Hey, Hunk. Thanks man, but I’m not really hungry,” he lies, before rolling over onto his back.

“Uh, Lance, it’s me,” Keith’s voice replies from behind the door. Lance’s eyes widen. “Can I come in?” Holy shit. He dives off the bed and hurriedly tidies up the room before he presses the door panel. The door slides open and Keith is there, holding a tray with two plates.

“I brought you some supper,” he says. Lance steps out of the way and Keith sets it on the desk.

“I… Why are you? I thought you left?” Lance stumbles over his words, but finally manages to string together a sentence. Keith sighs.

“I did,” he says.

“So, why did you—”

“Because of what you said,” Keith answers. “You were right.”

“Heh, you’ve never said that before,” Lance says with an awkward laugh. Keith laughs dryly and looks into Lance’s eyes.

“They, the Blade, doesn’t care about me. But you do.” Keith pauses, smiling softly. Then his eyes widen and he backpedals. “I, I mean, the team does, right?” Keith asks. Lance swallows. If Keith only knew. Hell, maybe he’s about to.

“Yeah, I do,” Lance answers, “we’re friends remember?”

“Yeah,” Keith starts, clicking his tongue. “I decided to come back. For good.”

“You have?” Lance smiles. “That’s great. I’m glad.”

“I kinda wanna say something though, if you don’t mind,” Keith says, waiting for Lance’s approval.

“What is it?” Lance asks. He watches Keith wrestle with something in his head and finally the other boy opens his mouth.

“I like you,” he declares. Keith’s face starts to turn red and Lance’s heart stops momentarily, and sputters back to life. And when it does, he doesn’t know what to say.

“You. You what? You like— you like me?” Lance asks. Keith nods.

“Yeah! I do. And I’ve liked you for… a long time and I thought maybe you liked me back,” Keith says. Then he gives Lance a once over. He groans and puts his head in his hands. “Oh God. I’ve freaked you out. Holy shit,” Keith stands to move towards an exit, any exit. Lance stops him with a hand.

“No, no, no. I, oh. Yeah. Jesus. Wow. I, I need to sit down.” Lance says, dropping to sit on the edge of his bed. His brain is literally gone. It must’ve joined his heart somewhere warm and fluffy. He can’t believe this. He was supposed to be the one confessing. He’s never been confessed to and it’s taking a toll on his nerves.

“I guess I’ll catch the first shuttle back to the BOM headquarters.” Keith says, nervous laughter taking him over. Lance can’t think of a single thing to say. He’s absolutely speechless. Unable to find words. Fuck, he can’t even think of a dumb joke to break the tension. He pats the bed and Keith cautiously moves to sit down, facing him. They stay that way for a moment.

“How long?” Lance finally manages.

“What? How long have I liked you?” Keith asks. Lance nods, shifting his gaze to the other. Keith thinks for a few seconds and comes up with the answer. “Since… the day that Sendak and his crew got into the Castle and you got hurt.”

“Since the bonding moment?!” Lance exclaims, reflexively doing air quotes around the phrase.

“Don’t do the air quoting! It happened!” Keith says defensively.

“I know it did.” Lance admits with a sigh. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Lance asks, in a much calmer tone.

“I thought you were straight. And then, I left to join the Blade and you came out. And I realized I might have a chance with you, but I didn’t want to… I don’t know why.” Keith answers.

“I do, like you too.” Lance says. Keith’s face brightens.

“You do?” he asks, looking into his eyes for confirmation.

“Yeah. That’s what I was trying to get to earlier in the med bay. But then, you flipped out and left. So…” Lance says.

“You were gonna tell me?” Keith asks.

“Yeah,” Lance says. Keith laughs.

“God, I’m so stupid. I was alone and miserable for months all because I was too stubborn to admit that I liked you.”

“Better late than never?” Lance suggests.

“Definitely.” Keith nods, smiling.

“So, you’re really back?” Lance asks.

“I promise. But I don’t want to be a loner anymore,” Keith says, trailing off.

“You won’t be. I promise I’ll always be there for you. No matter what. You’re not alone anymore.” Lance says, leaning forward to pull Keith in for a hug. The other boy gasps and freezes, before wrapping his arms around Lance.

“Does this mean we’re boyfriends now? Or… I don’t know how this works.” Keith says, muffled against Lance’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Lance laughs. “I think that’s how this goes.”

\--

They spend the rest of the evening in Lance’s room. After they eat their long-cold dinners, they start to get to know each other. They end up laying on their stomachs across the bed, talking about Lance’s family. Keith eats it up.

Lance tells the story about his sister falling off a pier when they were kids. And about his mother’s cooking. Keith talks about his year in the desert, which sounds ridiculously unbearable.

“How did you survive? Like it didn’t seem like you even had any food there,” Lance asks. Keith laughs.

“Well, uh, half the time, I’d sort of take food from the Garrison. And the other half, I’d go to like, McDonald’s. God, I miss fast food.” Keith admits with a sigh. Lance laughs.

“Same.” he says, thinking about greasy cheeseburgers and warm salty fries. Both of them seem to clam up thinking of all the things they miss from Earth. Then, they fall into a comfortable silence. Until Keith clears his throat.

 “So,” Keith starts, “you remembered the bonding moment.”

“Oh, God.” Lance laughs. “Yeah. I did.”

“So you were just fucking with me?” Keith asks.

“A little. And I kind of figured that it meant more to me than it should’ve.” Lance says, remembering the way Keith held his hand. The totally romantic ‘we are a good team’ line. Keith scoffs.

“I held you in my arms. Then I carried you to the pods and sat there all night.” Keith says.

“You did?” Lance asks.

Keith nods, “yep. I mean, after Coran said it’d take like twelve hours to fix you up, everyone else kind of went to do their thing. And I just… felt like someone should be there.”

“You’re so precious.” Lance laughs, pressing a soft kiss on Keith’s cheek. Keith stiffens for a few seconds, then returns the chaste kiss.

Lance could get used to this.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys enjoyed this fic! I tried to make it good! Angst isn't really my forte! But I'm trying to improve. :)  
> Please leave a comment if you liked the fic! <3 
> 
> Thank you so much for the prompt anon! <3 It inspired me a lot!  
> The title is from [this song!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmo36gnUCWE) It's such a klance song! 
> 
> Also, if you'd like to follow my tumblr, I'm [@koganelovesmcclain.](http://koganelovesmcclain.tumblr.com/)  
> (([Please reblog the link to this fic over on Tumblr to share the fic with your friends!](url)))


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